Summer is right around the corner (Some might say it’s already here!)... And you know what that means... Wedding Season (ow mowsem eltazaweg)!

That time again where destined couples tie the knot and life as they knew it ends... and a new one begins.

It’s the time where one half of the couple is happy, ecstatic and unfathomably joyful and where the other half is miserable, cranky and in debt.

The time where all the people stand around the room and look at the couple in the middle and laugh inside, some because they are happy to see a fellow man fall... actually all men are there for this reason. There are those who are there for genuine happiness... what is wrong with them!?

I just don’t get weddings, it’s a tremendous waste of money for a night that some will argue is forever... it’s not. You’re not wearing that same wedding dress again are you. Or is it just a reminder of how 4 sizes smaller you where back then!

On the other hand, we do get to reuse the tux, so that’s not too bad! That’s mostly why I hate them, an extravagant display of god knows what for family members and friend, and for what... Maybe it’s only me... But I hate weddings.

And with summer in, an increase in weddings occur, again... why! Is it because of being in constant Heat (pun intended) or because summer was too happy of a time you went an added something to make it less cheerful.

Nowadays we have many types of weddings, we have the traditional indoor Hotel / Dar ballroom wedding done at night, with or without a singer / ra2sa. You also have the outdoor wedding, where there is greenery, maybe a pool... again no ra2sa, done in morning or nights! Then there is the religious one fil mashya’7a (Attended that only once!)

When I do get married (and for you who have been following my previous articles, will notice the change in tone) and have my wedding - despite my repeated trials to thwart or ruin it, because let’s face it, its a battle you can’t win because everyone else is against you - I guess I’ll want to go with the outdoor morning one, they are more laid back, with a DJ playing in the background, people mingling; the whole vibe feels more like a lounge rather than a wedding reception - and I love lounges, but hate weddings (can’t say it enough times).

I mean, I would rather take an extra 2 weeks on my honeymoon and it will still be cheaper than dishing out for the wedding, I find that I have no emotional entanglement to the concept of weddings at all, why? Did I attend a bad wedding - of course I did...they are all bad! And the zafa... like hell if I am doing that and if they insisted - they have like 45 sec tops from the moment I take the misses by the hand till I reach where it is I will sit, with no stops or anything... deal with it.

I do however like the concept of the first dance, well because primarily it’s dancing, and who doesn’t love that! A salsa or tango maybe (See I can be romantic if I want)... Then we proceed to talk to people, have good laughs, maybe even sing some songs... I don’t know! And that goes on for hours... ugh! in the heat of the summer (double ugh)! Did I mention I hate weddings!

Wait... Ramadan is coming in the summer - summer’ish... right. What if I had my wedding in the summer daylight in Ramadan... that’s actually kinda brilliant, no music... no food and the whole thing will take like an hour max... A couple of laughs, a couple of photos and we are done! The more I think about it the more sense it makes... and you can always site religious reasons for doing it. I’ll have the rest of our lives to dance, so no biggie! A wedding in summer while in Ramadan... I can’t believe no one thought of this before!

By: Hesham El Dahmy